Photo on left is of Dorothy and Ken on his wedding day.To the right of this is the last photo taken of Dorothy and she is with Shirley.
Underneath a photo of Dorothy in her home.
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In May 1997 we were on the verge of leaving Devon to come to France to search for our new home. One of the things I did was to write to the National Statistics Office to ask for a full birth certificate as I only had a shortened version. I knew that I would need a full birth certificate once in France. I had never questioned why I only had the shorter version, it never seemed to be of any importance.
On the morning of 16th May I was still in bed when Nigel brought me a cup of tea and the mail. One of the letters was from the National Statistics Office and I was relieved to receive it as we were due to leave on the 18th.It was somewhat of a shock when I opened the letter to read that:
“Although no entry agreeing with the particulars supplied by you has been found in the birth indexes, a search has been made in the index to the adopted children register and the certificate from the appropriate entry is enclosed. If you are interested in obtaining a birth certificate showing your name and particulars before adoption, please write to me.”
Many people have since asked me how I reacted to this discovery. For some reason it didn’t shock me too much, I think that I had so much else on my mind due to our imminent departure. On thinking about it, it seemed that it did perhaps explain things. Although I knew that my (adoptive) parents loved me and did all they could to give me a good home, I had always felt some lack of something. It’s difficult to explain but there seemed to be some parental bond that was lacking and once I knew that I was adopted it answered, as far as I was concerned, what that lack was. I remembered that, many years ago, when I had a conversation with my dad about marrying Bob (my French boyfriend), he told me that they did not want me to do so as it would mean me moving to Colombia to be with him. He said that my mum had had 3 stillbirths and that they couldn’t bear the thought of me being so far away.
I had been brought up in Baildon, Yorkshire a small town about 5 miles from Bradford and had lived in the same house in Fernbank Drive until I married in 1967. Looking back I can see that Mum and Dad did their utmost to give me a happy upbringing. We had a riding school next to the house and I spent as much time there as I possibly could. After finishing at Sandals Road primary school I went to Bradford Girls Grammar School which was a direct grant school. Although I had passed the 11 + and could have gone to a local grammar school it seemed that they wanted me to have the best that they could provide. When I was small our neighbour's were Uncle Bob and Auntie Mac, they seemed to be very close to my parents but had died some time previously. Their daughter, Isobel and her husband Ken (I was their bridesmaid in 1948?) moved into the house when they died and became very close to my parents too.
Mum was still alive but she was almost 95 years old at this point and I chose not to talk to her about this for the time being. She could, I know, have answered many of my questions but in my view she had chosen not to tell me of my adoption and I didn’t want to change that situation for the moment. I felt that I had to respect her views on this, she and my dad had given me a good home and a good life and who knows what would have happened had they not done so.
So, off we went to France where we were busy house hunting but of course the adoption was at the back of my mind. I received the full birth certificate in April 1998. It seems that I was born at a private house at 1, Highgate Road, Bradford and my mother was Dorothy Brownless Appleby. It gave her occupation as “Process worker, cordite factory (hotel waitress) and her address as 49, Grangefield Avenue, New Rossington, near Doncaster. No entry under name of father. My birth was registered in Bradford South on the 14th December 1942. In May I received the copy of the adoption certificate which gave the date of my adoption as the 27th January 1943, Both certificates give my Christian names as Doreen Margaret raising the question of who named me.
I went back to Devon in July 1997 to see mum and at the same time my aunt and cousin were on holiday in the area. My Auntie Jean was married to Dad’s brother Douglas and they had all been very close. They were staying in Sidmouth and whilst mum and Auntie Jean chatted my cousin, Margaret, and I went for a walk. I asked her if she knew that I was adopted and she said yes and that she had always thought that I knew as well. Well, that really stunned me and I asked her what else she knew. Margaret knew nothing more but said that she would ask her mother what she knew. At this point I explained to Margaret that I didn’t want mum to know anything about it.
Later that day Margaret had a chat with her mum and sent me the following note.
‘I had a chat with Mum and she said that she could not shed a great deal more light on your adoption apart from the fact that you were “a very much wanted baby”.
She thinks that Uncle Norman may have thought that he had told you, in his own way when he mentioned about the babies that were still born- two boys and the last one, a girl-she thinks that he may have said that the doctor brought you, or something, thinking that you would understand.
Auntie Edna (Mum) had the other babies in Odsal Clinic (where Peter and myself were born also) Unfortunately this no longer exists-Mum thinks that your adoption may have been arranged with their help but mainly through your doctor-Dr Foster. She remembers “six” weeks for some reason-whether you were six weeks when you were adopted or just that Auntie Edna had to wait for six weeks she doesn’t know.
It seems that people didn’t ask many questions as we would today. The main thing she seems to remember is how delighted your Mum and Dad were to have you arrive by whatever means.”
It seemed that now I was going to have to try, with the few clues I had, to find out more about my background. My close friend, Christine, who lives in Baildon had offered to start a search for me whilst I was back in France. Christine found one entry, under the name Appleby in Rossington, listed in the telephone directory. The next time I visited the UK I went up to Baildon to stay with Christine and David. I think it was probably in the spring of 1998. We went to the house in Rossington and whilst I stayed in the car Christine knocked on the door. It was answered by a young woman and after Christine had explained why we were there she said that her parents were visiting her sister who was in hospital but they would be home after lunch. So we went to the pub in the village and had lunch. We got talking to a chap in there who knew the Applebys and told us that they were named Dennis and Doreen. Dennis is a miner and Doreen a JP. Rossington is a mining village, one of the few still left in the area as a working colliery. Back at the house I was too nervous to go to the door with Christine. When Doreen answered the door Christine explained what we were there for and Doreen immediately said that I should come in and meet them. It was a very strange experience to be suddenly confronted with my first blood relatives. They were very welcoming and took my appearance with not a lot of surprise. They told us that Dorothy had had 3 (?) brothers and one sister. Dennis being the son of one of her brothers – my cousin! The brothers were dead but the sister, Joyce who was much younger, was still living not far away. They seemed to remember that Joyce had a sister who had gone to Australia. Dennis went up to the attic to retrieve a box of old photos and we saw many of the family but no-one that they thought was Dorothy. After an interesting and emotional couple of hours we left with a lot more information on the Appleby family and a start to more enquiries. Dennis and Doreen had promised to speak to Joyce and see if she could throw any light on the situation but explained that she was rather an eccentric person and may not be of much help.
Christine promised to do more research whilst I was back in France. Her first port of call was the old electoral registers and on the 16th August 1998 I received the following fax from her.
‘I spent a very interesting 3 hours at the archives in Wakefield today and hope that you find the following information as interesting as I did.
As you will see from the following the name Dorothy B Roberts appears in the electoral roll dated June 1946.I think it is too much of a coincidence for her not to be Dorothy Brownless Appleby She doesn’t appear in any electoral roll as Dorothy Brownless Appleby, so I am presuming that she married sometime between 1942 and 1946 and that the marriage failed as no man named Roberts appeared at 49, Grangefield Avenue, but there was a John F E Roberts listed in 1946 at 16,Grangefield Avenue but not listed in following years. There is also a listing for the years 1945-1953 for an Esther Roberts and James T Roberts at 5, Grangefield Avenue (they could be his parents). It is all presumption but do you think that John F E Roberts could have been her husband and possibly your father or it could be someone she met after your birth. Intrigue!
I also found the records for 1, Highgate Road, (the house where I was born) but I could only look in 1939 and 1945 as no records were kept during the war.
The names registered in 1939 were Fred and Violet Pickles and in 1945 only Violet Pickles.
Does this name ring a bell at all?
I also found the name of the road that the guy in the pub mentioned which we thought was Abercrombie but is actually Aberconway Crescent and a few Applebys were mentioned there, so they could also be relations. I definitely think that the listing 1950 and 1951 for 42, Aberconway Crescent of Robert and Violet Appleby will be Dennis’ father and mother as Robert disappears from 49, Grangefield Avenue in 1949
As you will see Dorothy B Roberts appears in 1946, is not entered in 1947 but appears again in 1948, 1949 and 1950 but does not appear from 1951 onwards which fits in , approximately with Dennis and Doreen’s account of things.
Looking at the results of Christine’s search through the electoral registers it seems that Dorothy’s parents were James and Ethel and her brothers were Hugh, James and Robert. There is no mention of Joyce until 1951 but presumably she was too young to be on the electoral register previously. In 1951 and 1952 there is a Joyce M Ward listed on the electoral register at Grangefield Avenue, could this be her?
On the way back to Devon I called in to see Doreen and Dennis and they promised to find out what they could for me and to write to me.
My next port of call was to be Somerset House. I am not sure when I went there, it may have been later on in the year. I went to stay with some friends in London on my next trip and went to Somerset House only to find that all the records had moved from there! I finally got to the records office and spent a few hours looking through the archives with some success. Dorothy’s birth was registered in the second half of 1921 at Chester-le-Street, county Durham her mothers maiden name being Reed. I also found a birth registration for Joyce M Appleby, registered in Doncaster at the end of 1930 making Joyce 9 years younger that Dorothy. Dorothy will be 77 now so there is a chance that she will still be alive. I also found a marriage certificate for Dorothy and Ernest Edward Roberts dated 2nd October 1943 (just 11 months after my birth). The marriage took place in the registry office at Hemsworth. Dorothy was 22 and gave her address as South Kireby (sp), Ernest was a widower, 39 years old and living at South Elmsall. He gave his occupation as “munition worker (road labourer). The witnesses were C. Drakeley and M Watson. As Dorothy was back on the electoral register at Grangefield Avenue in 1946 I looked through the register of deaths between 1943 and 1946 to see if I could find an entry for an Ernest Edward Roberts. I found a listing for Ernest E Roberts Cpl 4969304, Sherwood Foresters who died in 1944. (Volume 7 page 208). Could this be Dorothy’s husband?
In September 1998 I received the following letter from Doreen and Dennis..
‘Sorry we haven’t got in touch before now but your auntie been away. We went down and seen her, Auntie Joyce told us your mother Dorothy still living as far as she knows, Uncle Norman died in 1992, your mums brother, the solicitors Malcolm foy and Co, High Street, Doncaster gave Joyce Dorothy’s address in Australia but she threw it away. Dorothy’s married name in 1991 was Dorothy Brownless Knight, shown her photo of you she says you look like Dorothy, Joyce said Dorothy went to Australia in 1952. Dorothy had three sons called Kenneth Appleby, Keith Roberts and Danny Knight. Kenneth and Keith born in England, Danny Australia. No she didn’t know about you. But Dorothy had Kenneth out of wedlock. Her mother used to look after the boys while she went out to work, when we told Joyce you were born in Bradford she told us Dorothy worked all over. She was in the WAAFS when she had Kenneth and had to come out. Kenneth’s dad died that was what we were told in an air raid, then she met Keith Roberts, the boys went to Australia with her in 1952, we think of the photos we have got there is not a photo of Dorothy. But photo of Kenneth and Keith. Joyce had a booklet on Rossington 1935 with your mum in it. But Dorothy didn’t live at home much, so she only remembers Dorothy. Because she was born 1930 she 68 gone Monday. Australia house in London might be able to give you some more information or try the solicitors as they still might have on file. Hope this will be able to help you we know you are busy. But if you ever want to come down and see us again you are more than welcome. Our daughter Lorraine coming
on she started to talk a bit. I bet it’s nice to know you got some family, well Dee, Cousin, take care, please keep in touch.’
Sadly, although I wrote to them a couple of times after this I never heard from them again. The letter gave me more clues but some of them lead me up the wrong path for a while.
I wrote to Malcolm Foy, solicitors in early 1999 and received a letter saying that they had nothing on file in the name of Dorothy Knight. They did however give me the name and address of another firm called Foy and co which had previously been Malcolm C Foy and co.
After writing twice to Foy and co they finally replied in May 1999.
“I can confirm that we hold on file an address for Mrs Knight although this was in late 1994. Unfortunately, I am unable to divulge the address but if you would care to forward to me correspondence addressed to Mrs Knight then I shall happily send this on to Australia”
Another dead end as I certainly didn’t want to write, out of the blue, to Dorothy. I had been in contact with the social services in Honiton but they seemed to have run out of ideas, in fact I can’t remember a lot of details about my conversations with them.
It was then that I was advised to contact the International Social Service who had an office in Toulouse. I went there and told them my story and they promised to write to the Paris office who would then contact International Social Services in Australia and from there they would try and trace my mother. I had a very pleasant meeting with a social worker in the ISS offices in Toulouse. I told her my story and of my wish to find my birth mother who I knew was in Australia. She wrote down all the details, in French, and told me that she would transmit them to her colleague, Marie-Paul Guntzenburger in Paris and from there they would contact the ISS in Australia. Rather bizarre as I had to give all the story in French and then it would have to be translated back into English! I came away feeling relatively hopeful that finally I may get somewhere in my search. Apparently the letters were sent to Melbourne ISS and in August 1999 they were then transferred to Kevin Wong-Hoy who was based in New South Wales.
I can’t remember when I next heard from ISS Toulouse, maybe December 1999, when I received a phone call asking me to go up to Toulouse to see the social worker. Of course I was tremendously excited to think that I may finally have some news. Sadly, when I got there it was to discover that my mother had died on the 9th November 1999. so near yet so far. Apparently, Kevin had found her living in Pialba, Queensland and had written to her asking if she would be agreeable to having a possible reunion with someone from the UK. I do not have a copy of Kevin’s letter but would assume that he had not mentioned that it was her long lost daughter who was trying to contact her. Perhaps she guessed ? We shall never know. They sent me the letter that she had written in reply to his request written on the 2nd November, just a week before she died.
18/5 Beach Road,
Pialba,
Queensland.
“Dear Sir,
I was born in the UK my maiden name being Dorothy Brownless Appleby.
If I can be any help please let me know.
Yours sincerely, D.B.Knight.
Ref/99K/2425/FRA/QLD
Re Possible reunion.
For some reason this had been sent to Melbourne and then had to be forwarded to Kevin in Sydney meaning there was some considerable delay in the news reaching me.
It was quite an emotional moment to hold the letter in my hand, my last tangible link with my mother as I thought then.
What could I do now? I think at that point I was resigned and thought that I could go no further in my search for family. I was busy with life at our small farm in France and although mum was still alive (by now 97 years old) I still didn’t feel I wanted to question her and bring up the past. Maybe had it happened when I was much younger I would have felt differently but for now I was content to let matters rest.
At the beginning of August 2000 I received a phone call from the ISS in Toulouse saying that they had further information and I made an appointment to see them on the 9th August. When I got there I was given the following letter, which had been forwarded from Australia to Paris, translated into French and sent to Toulouse.
Following my recent fax dated 22 June 2000, (I don’t have a copy of this fax and don’t know its contents) I have received a charming phone call from a Mrs Shirley Hodgetts who knew Mrs Dorothy Knight very well.
Dorothy and the father of Shirley had a relationship during 10 years and Shirley used to visit them when they were together. Shirley was very fond of Doreen’s mother and even after the separation between Mr Hodgetts and Mrs Knight, Shirley still visited each of them in Queensland, where she spent her holidays. Shirley had visited Dorothy not long before she died.
Two of Dorothy’s sons, Kenneth and Richard (Richard? According to the information I received from Doreen and Dennis the boys were called Ken and Keith) are still in the United Kingdom and a third son, Danny, lives close to Melbourne. However, there have been disagreements and these men do not seem to be interested in what concerns their mother.. For example, Danny has not tried to contact me after I wrote to him by the intermediary of the Public Trustees of Queensland.
The good news, however, is that Shirley Hodgetts would be happy to receive a letter from Doreen. Shirley will be able to tell her about her mother and she has told me that she has some very nice photos of her. If Doreen would like to write I would be happy to forward the letter to Shirley. I am sending you this letter straight away because Shirley is intending to travel to the United Kingdom and to France and is leaving Australia on the 1st September. If Doreen is interested, there is a possibility that Shirley and Doreen could meet in person, perhaps in France. In any case, I await your news and Doreen’s decision with respect to this offer.
With confirmation of this fax I will send by mail the following documents and other personal belongings of Dorothy.
The original death certificate of Dorothy.
The original copy of the birth certificate of Dorothy (a fragile document).
They also forwarded me her, driving license, certificate of Australian citizenship, document of identity for travel to Australia as Approved Migrants and her death certificate.
The document of identity was interesting as it was dated the 17th January 1964 12 years later than the date I had been given by Dennis and Doreen. Also there was only one son’s name given on the document, which was that of Danny, so did this mean that the other 2 boys had not left the UK at that time?
The bearer of the document was named as Mr Albert Knight, born in Bentley on the 22nd August 1923, height 5’4”, blue eyes, brown hair.
His wife (Dorothy), born in Birtley on the 28th July 1921, height 5’4” blue eyes, brown hair.
His son Albert Danny was born on the 25th February 1953.
The document is stamped by the emigration officer in Southampton and gives the date of embarkation as the 5th February 1964.
The document is stamped on the 2nd March 1964 by the department of immigration in Freemantle.
The driving license gives her address in 1978 as Toorak, Victoria, which is a suburb of Melbourne.
The certificate of Australian citizenship is dated the 28th July 1997. One wonders why she waited so long to become an Australian citizen or maybe there was a reason why she had to become one.
The death certificate gives cause of death as 1 Acute myocardial infarction,2,Atherosclerosis, 3,Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
Well I had found out quite a lot since that day when I received the letter informing me that I was adopted. I knew my mothers name, I knew the names of her brothers and sister, that, somewhere, in the world, I had 3 half brothers. I had her birth certificate, a marriage certificate, immigration papers, driving license and citizenship document.
Of course I was thrilled and over the moon at this new development and immediately sent the following fax, to Kevin in Australia, as soon as I got home.
I have today been to the ISS in Toulouse where I received the documents you sent regarding my mother Dorothy Knight. I gave them a letter to forward to you for you to forward to Shirley Hodgetts. However, although I am assured that they will forward the letter immediately, in view of the fact that Shirley leaves for Europe on September 1st I feel that it is better to contact you directly by fax.
I am delighted that you have been able to contact someone who knew my mother. I look forward to being able to see her whilst she is in Europe. Would you please convey the following message to her whilst assuring her that there is a letter on the way to her.
Shirley- I am so much looking forward to meeting you and hearing about my mother. You are welcome to come and stay with us here. If you wish I would like to phone you before you leave to arrange when and where we can meet. Perhaps you could let Kevin have your phone number and he can fax it to me. I have so many questions for you, so much to talk about.
With many thanks for your help. Please confirm receipt of this fax.
On the 16th August I received the following fax from Kevin.
Dear Doreen, Thank you very much for your co-operation with ISS on this matter. I received your fax transmitted directly to me in Australia and today my colleague at ISS France was able to forward a part of your letter of the 9th August. There were problems with the fax machines.
Mrs Shirley Hodgetts has been provided with a copy of the imperfect fax and she will wait to hear from you. I will be advising ISS France that I need your letter faxed again, that Shirley is looking forward to meeting you and that the two dates (9-10th September and 26th September-6th October) which you specified are not convenient for Shirley. She will be on her tour of France during 9-10th September and returns to Australia on the 24th September. However she feels that it will be possible to arrange some sort of meeting.
Shirley’s contact details : Home number 61-3-97207893
Work number 61-3-94277422
Please let ISS France know what progress you are able to make. I have been very pleased that it has been possible to help in this secondary way after we learned, sadly, that Dorothy had died.
ISS France also forwarded me a copy of the fax with a handwritten p.s. from Marie-Paul in Paris saying “ Dear Doreen, Your complete letter has now gone through and Kevin will now be able to forward it to Shirley. Best Wishes for your meeting.
Although I don’t remember the phone call exactly I do know that I contacted Shirley and that we arranged to meet up when she was in London. She gave me the name and phone number of the people she was staying with. Shirley was traveling with a friend who had been brought up in London and they were staying with his relatives. I believe that I arranged to phone her there to confirm arrangements. As the trip did not coincide with one of my regular trips back to Devon I flew over to Stansted from Carcassonne for a couple of days and stayed with friends, John and Jane in London.
We arranged to meet in the cafe of the Royal Festival Hall and gave each other a brief description of what we looked like. I was very nervous, excited and somewhat apprehensive of whether we would recognise each other. Luckily there was no problem and we had a very emotional meeting. We sat and had coffee and talked and talked. Shirley had lots of photos of Dorothy and gave me a pair of her ear-rings. When Dorothy died it was Shirley who arranged her interment at Bayside Gardens, Hervey Bay and to have a plaque made to mark the site of the interment. She gave me a photo of the plaque and the original certificate.
The photos were of Dorothy at the time she was with Verne, Shirley's father. Photos of Dorothy with Shirley and her sons, photos of the house that she and Verne lived in. The last known photo of Dorothy is one of her, with Shirley, playing the "pokies, something that she was very fond of!
What were my impressions at the first sight of my birth mother? Incredulity and awe that at last I could see who had given birth to me. She looked such a fun loving, lively lady, slim (not like me!) with an amazing pair of legs.
I think that Shirley told me that Dorothy had met Verne in Melbourne some time after she left Albert and Danny. Dorothy and Verne traveled around Australia in a camper van
and when they got to Hervey Bay they decided that was where they would stay. I remember Shirley saying that Dorothy had been like a mother to her and I replied that it seemed that she had been more of a mother to her than she had been to any of her children. At some point during our conversation Shirley brought out Dorothy’s address book. Apparently she had been able to rescue a few of Dorothy’s personal things before they were taken away. As no relatives had wanted or been able to be there for the cremation the state had taken her belongings to pay for it. One of the belongings was Dorothy’s address book which Shirley wanted to keep but said I could look at to see if there was anything of interest in there.
Apart from Danny’s address in Melbourne there were two addresses in the UK.
Kenneth Knight at 160, Micklethwaite Lane,Micklethwaite, Bingley , Yorkshire and Richard and Sue Knight at 76, Woodcot Avenue, Baildon, Shipley, Yorkshire.
Well to say that I was bowled over, stunned, whatever, is underestimating my feelings at that time. Baildon is where I was brought up and Micklethwaite is about 5 miles away. Had I had relatives living close to me all those years ago? And who was Richard, another brother? I carefully copied down those 2 addresses so that I could find out more about them when I got back home.
Shirley brought me a letter from a very good friend of Dorothy, Margaret Shepherd, who lived in Melbourne and had known Dorothy for a long time. Shirley had told her about me so Margaret wrote down her memories for me, what a nice thought.
The first contact that Neil and I had with Dot was over 30 years ago. A group of us had gone to a dance at Frankston and Scottish friends introduced us to the lady from Doncaster, England, and her husband Albert. At that time Dot, Albert and their son, Danny, lived on a property at Pearcedale where they raised fowls, ducks, geese and bred cocker spaniels, plus their family pets. They were also involved in the Cocker Spaniel Kennel Club where Danny eventually became a judge.
The next meeting I had with Dot was when I walked into our local pet shop to buy dog meat. Dot was busy cleaning out the aviaries. I looked at her and said “I know you, your name is Dot” and from then on our friendship started. Dot was such a hard worker, she used to cut up all the meat that was supplied whilst Albert had the very occasional job either plastering or painting. Danny had a government job in Melbourne but he either drank or spent his money on drugs. Dot was often in for a cuppa or a glass of beer when she had a f we minutes to spare. She asked if our youngest son, Kenneth, would walk her dog as she hadn’t the time- so he earned a bit of extra pocket money. When Neil’s mother came from Scotland to live with us, Dot soon made another friend and eventually asked Maggie to do some cleaning in their living rooms, so mum also earned a bit extra to eke out her pension.
Eventually Dot, Albert and Danny moved to a house in Seaford, together with their cat and old dog ‘Janey’ and Albert’s aviary. Shortly after moving in Dot acquired two Chihuahua dogs. She still did part-time work to supplement their income. After a few years at Seaford she decided she’d had enough and left the two fellows to fend for themselves, Janey having passed away and finding a good home for her little dogs.
Dot moved back to Moorabbin where she stayed with various friends before acquiring a little sleep-out for herself. She had put her name down with housing commission and when an upstairs one bedroom unit came up at Moordiallec she moved in. It was just over the road from the beach and she was very happy there. At various homes she had old friends come out from England and we would make a point of taking them for a drive and lunch. That is how we met Pat, her great pal, who missed seeing Dot by just a few days. For worked in an ‘op shop’ at Moordiallec and she was an active member of the Labour Party, helping Bob Hawke in his election campaign.
I am pretty sure that Dot met your father, Verne, during those years and the rest you know, Shirley. She and Vern spent those months touring Australia and she was so happy, eventually settling in Hervey Bay. She loved living in the Bay, but was so pleased that she came back to Victoria some 4 years ago to spend time with her old friends.
We always regarded Dot as an extended member of our family and tried, whenever possible, to include her in family celebrations. A more generous and loyal friend would be hard to find. She would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it and she had such a wonderful sense of humour. We treasure her memory.
Margaret Shepherd.
After lunch on the embankment we strolled down to Tower Bridge and walked across it to the tower of London where we said an emotional good-bye. What a day. In such a short time I had met someone who had been so close to Dorothy and learnt so much more about her. I was to meet up with Shirley again, in 2001 in Melbourne, when I had been over to New Zealand to stay with Rob and his family. We had lunch together and I was able to bring her up to date with events that had followed our meeting. Sadly, I have lost contact with her since then as she moved house.
Once back home I phoned Christine, in Baildon, and told her about the two names and addresses that I had been given. Christine promised to do some investigations at her end. The first thing that she and David did was to go down to Woodcot Avenue and on driving past the house noticed that, as it was dark and the curtains were not drawn, the couple living there were much younger than one of my brothers would have been. Perhaps a niece or nephew? David then did a bit of undercover detective work and called at the house in Micklethwaite on the pretext of looking for someone in the village. Apparently Ken answered the door and they had a brief chat. It seemed that he would be the right age to be my brother and all the other clues led me to the same conclusion. I then decided that I would write to him and see what happened. I told him of my search for my birth mother and that I thought that he may be my brother/half-brother. (Do you still have this letter, Ken? And the date?) I was going back to Devon again, to see Mum and stay with Steve, and gave him Steve’s phone number in case he wanted to contact me there. I well remember what happened next. I was spending a couple of nights with my friends Nick and Annie when the phone rang and Nick answered it. He came back saying it was for me. When I picked up the phone and he said it was Ken on the phone I sat down feeling shock and amazement, he was the last person I was expecting at that point in time. He had called Steve and got Nick’s number from him. We had a long conversation and he confirmed that he was the son of Dorothy. I had at last found a real relative! I explained that I couldn’t get up to Yorkshire during that visit but that I hoped that we could meet on my next trip back to the UK.
Ken is 15 months older than I am and was also illegitimate. He was brought up, mainly, by his grandparents, in Rossington as Dorothy was working away most of the time. Keith was born after me and they were both living with Dorothy’s parents. I said that it must have been difficult, at that time, being illegitimate but he said that it wasn’t a problem as, due to the war, there were quite a lot of people in a similar position. Ken didn’t know who his father was but thought it may be someone in the RAF as there was a large air base, Finningly, near by. It seems that Dorothy’s reluctance to tell Ken who his father was caused their relationship to wane when she went to Australia. . (Ken, can you fill in any relevant information. Your work in the hotel with Dorothy, when you lived with her, anything about Keith, Danny, your time at university and your meeting with Kay and subsequent move to Baildon)
The next time that I was back in the UK (Ken, not sure of dates if you know can you alter them please.), I think it was in March 2001, we arranged to meet. I explained to Ken that I didn’t have the time to get up to Yorkshire and wondered if we could meet half way. He said that they had a friend in Stratford on Avon who they could stay with. This was an ideal solution and we arranged to meet at a service station just north of Bristol. Steve went with me, it was good to have his company as I was so nervous. I think that we were there first and I was filled with apprehension as to whether we would all recognise each other. I needn’t have worried in that respect as we all seemed to recognise each other. How to explain my emotions at that time? I was meeting a stranger who wasn’t a stranger, it was my (half) brother. Both he and Kay, his wife, were so warm, so easy to get on with and as we sat down conversation was easy. As with all the other contacts I had made in my search , it seemed that I had been a very well kept secret. No-one knew of my birth, of my existence. Ken told me about his life, with his grandparents, with his mother, his meeting with Kay at University and their subsequent marriage and Dorothy’s departure for Australia. He then said that there was more to tell which sounded quite mysterious. After University he and Kay had moved to Baildon as Ken was working with British Telecom in Leeds and Kay had a job working for the tax office in Shipley. I think they were living in Baildon after I had married and left there, in 1967. One of the people who Kay worked with was Isabel (my mum’s next door neighbour). At this point I said, “Isabel, that’s who you are staying with in Stratford?” as I knew that she had moved there when she and Ken retired, mum always having kept in touch with them. It seemed that Kay and Isobel had become firm friends and had kept in touch and that Ken and Kay often visited Isabel (Ken had died) at her home. When Ken received my letter he had started to put two and two together as they had often heard Isabel refer to Mrs Hammond and her daughter Doreen and he had asked me what my maiden name was. When he heard that was indeed my maiden name they had told Isabel of events. Surprisingly Isabel did know that I was adopted. She said that it was not something that my parents were open about, they had moved house at the time of my adoption, but that one day she remembered her mother saying to Mum “ What a beautiful baby, she has her Daddy’s blue eyes”, and my mother replied that they had adopted me. An amazing coincidence indeed but there was even more to follow. After I married mum became very interested in antiques especially china. This was the time when antique fairs were becoming popular and she and Isabel found that they shared this interest. Mum used to go to auctions and buy china and other small items and at the weekends, using Isabel’s car, they used to go to local antique fairs to sell these items. Dorothy only returned to the UK on one occasion after she emigrated to Australia. Ken and Kay were living in Baildon and she stayed a few days with them. Dorothy mentioned that she would like to buy some china or knick knack to take back to Australia and Kay said that a friend of hers (Isabel) was doing an antique fair nearby and why didn’t they go and see if she had anything of interest. So they did and it was at that point that both my mothers met (not, of course knowing the connection). How strange is that? I find it unbelievable that it could have happened. Such an amazing coincidence.
Sadly, Ken has lost touch with Keith and having written to Danny and received no reply I am reconciled to the fact that I shall never know my other two brothers. In the end it doesn’t matter, I have found a wonderful brother and learnt quite a lot about my mother.
Ken and Kay have visited us in France 3 times, twice at Carol and once here at Castandet. I have visited he and Kay 3 (4?) times in Micklethwaite, met his son Jeremy and the other son Richard, his wife Sue and children Daniel and Katie. Ken came to my 60th birthday party which Steve gave for me in Exeter and been to Steve and Sasa’s wedding in Devon. I have stayed a couple of times in Stratford so Ken, Kay, Isabel and I have been able to chat together and marvel at all the coincidences in my story. Each time we meet we get to know each other more. I think, that being brought up as an only child, the fact that I have found Ken makes it even more special.
